Parent-Teacher Conferences

It’s that time of year; just as my parent conferences are approaching and my teacher conferences have already passed, the New York Times enters the fray with a debate section about parent-teacher conferences, with opinions from parents, teachers, and policy wonks alike.

I was struck by several of the comments in the different pieces; one teacher regularly communicates by letter and phone with parents, so that the conference is a continuation of a conversation, not the first step. I’ve never sent a letter home to parents, but our report card system involves not only grades but comments, so each parent receives narrative feedback on their individual student several times a year. Another teacher writes about a system where 80% of high school parents were skipping their conferences altogether, so the school system has decided to eliminate the dedicated time and move to a as-needed basis system. That seems like a reasonable decision to me; we don’t often have parents who forgo the conference, but we certainly also have a fair amount of as-needed conferences, as our parent group is more the type to be heavily invested in their child’s success, both financially and emotionally.

At my school, we have an advisory system, and the regularly scheduled conferences happen with the parent and advisor in the fall and the parent, student and advisor in the spring. Sometimes we might also ask our school counselor, psychologist, or grade-level dean to appear and add to the conversation as well. One of the advantages of the advisory system is that then the teacher in the conversation has a more holistic view of the student, so the team can look at patterns that emerge and address those, or can take useful strategies from one class and try to apply them to another. This is also made easier because for each conference, we are referencing not only grades, but narrative comments that can provide a wealth of information. I think we do well in using a team approach, though we do not rank students in comparison to the whole student body, as many public systems are probably able to do. I know that as a 9th grade advisor, I find myself saying often, “Yes, that’s a typical 9th grade challenge,” or “Here’s what often helps 9th graders who are struggling with that particular skill,” because I have been advising in the 9th grade for five years, in addition to teaching 9th grade. I think as a teacher and advisor, conferences are great ways for me to better understand the whole child and therefore be able to support her in all the various ways students might need support.

As a parent, I really look forward to conferences, because while neither of my kids have had serious academic or behavioral issues, I’m always curious to see whether their “school self” resembles what I see at home. When we got our daughters’ first report cards in fifth grade last year, after switching them to my school, the comments actually made me cry; it was so clear in the words of their teachers that my girls were spending their days surrounded by adults who saw them clearly for who they were and delighted in their personalities and strengths, while also noticing their challenges and suggesting concrete strategies. It inspired me to try and raise the bar I set for myself in my own communication with parents, because I really could see how reassuring it was to know that in each area of their lives, my girls were being seen, heard, understood and supported.

What more can a parent ask for?